i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
