Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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