Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He told me they were just razor bumps!
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I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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