one two three fourrrrnication!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
