Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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