If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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