So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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