We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Enjoy the penises
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize