i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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