I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
