i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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