I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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