i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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