I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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