random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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