That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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