Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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