Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
