He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
