They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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