Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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