is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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