Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
