She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize