and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
