I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you didnt know i had herpes?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
