this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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