I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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