...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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