Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
