Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
