I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
