That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
