she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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