You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
