I'll bet she douches with gravy.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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