My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
