is your mom at the bar?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
