Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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