I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
