so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Farmville is her only friend.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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