yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
