Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
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I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
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I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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