Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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