is your mom at the bar?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize