just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
