Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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