Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
