then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
