i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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