drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
