Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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