If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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