how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize