He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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