Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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