Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
