i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
