Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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