If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
