I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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