Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
