this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
