just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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