Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
