Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
