Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
